Obama's gaffe on Special Olympics vs. delusional thinking

President Obama made a really stupid remark on the Jay Leno show about his bowling abilities and Special Olympics. He should not have said it and I'm sure he wishes he hadn't. But after reading the reactions to it, I'm not so sure which is worse - the Obama gaffe or the delusional thinking that generated some of the responses.

Patricia Bower's blog (Patricia E. Bower: News and Commentary on Disability Issues) highlights the angry reaction to Obama's gaffe from the Massachusetts Down Syndrome Congress that met last week. Her blog post includes statements by Madeleine Will, a parent of an adult with Down syndrome and the vice president of public policy for the National Down Syndrome Society:

“Intellectual disabilities mean delays. It means things might come more slowly, but it doesn’t mean lack of competence.”

Will says she believes denigrating language is not only disrespectful, but it can impede the efforts of people with Down Syndrome from getting jobs and being independent:

“There’s research that shows that the average person does not believe someone with an intellectual disability and Down syndrome can read, that they can’t be employed, live independently, follow directions, handle an emergency...All of that is wrong. It’s false.”

In my own informal research conducted over a span of 32 years with my two sons who have severe cerebral palsy and profound mental retardation, I can attest to the fact that physical and mental disability can result in incompetence, even in children and adults with Down syndrome.

At the risk of impeding the efforts of people who have disabilities and are capable of working and being independent, I will say it now:

My sons will never learn to read, be employed, live independently, follow directions, or handle an emergency. Nor will they be able to feed themselves, talk, or play the guitar. On the other hand they will never say, "I hate you and I wish I was never born into this family" and for that I will always be grateful. This is a matter of belief based on fact rather than delusion.

I love my sons. They possess an abundance of charm, good will towards others, and many other redeeming qualities, but they lack competence in even the most basic skills of daily living.

I'm sure Madeleine Will knows about people like my sons - she is not lacking in intelligence or experience. I do not know what motivates her to dismiss the possibility of their existence, but I wonder if she might understand the disrespect and denigrating experience it may be to families of children like mine to hear that what we know about our own children is wrong and false.